Bite the Bullet

Well today I bit the bullet and while I was at the Rec, I asked Thomas to weigh me. I have been walking 3 miles every other day now for eight days. I feel so good when I am done. I am still very fatigued but I am hoping that when they get the sleeping oxygen right, that will be alleviated. Anyway, I took the leap of faith and I weighed 195 pounds. That is 70 pounds less than I weighed two years ago but now is the time for me to get in gear and take off the last 40 pounds. I really do believe if I use the band as a tool, walk as I train for the April half marathon, and eat right, I can do it by August which will be two years with the band.
I know I should look at the fact that I have weighed 195 pounds now for a very long time but I am eating healthy and not feeling deprived of some of the things I enjoy. I just have to exercise to increase my burn so that more fat will go. Considering we went on vacation and I have been under an incredible amount of stress, I think I have proven to myself that I can maintain now.
I just have to lose the last 160 sticks of butter.

A Fresh Start

I got a call from the Doctor about my blood work. Interesting! Everything was fine except for my Vitamin D count. I am at 20 which is considered quite low. The doctor would like the count to be between 40 and 100. So they ordered a prescription vitamin D. Vince opted for the liquid due to the fact that the capsule was quite large. The price breaks the bank. However, low vitamin D count can contribute to weight gain, depression, fatigue, anxiety, and decreased immunity. I started with the first dose of that last night when I returned home from my visit out west.
Then today the Doctor called again. The sleep (at home) study that I did last Saturday night showed that about 20 times during the night something happened but most significant was that much of the night for three minutes at a time, my oxygenation went quite low. In simple terms, my brain is not getting enough oxygen. Lack of oxygen leads to fatigue during the day and can cause strokes. Now this was a wake up call because my grandfather and my mother (his daughter) died of stroke related causes. So now I go see a pulminologist (due to my insurance) and have a full blown sleep study. Stay tuned for these medical events. I could do a TV show with all the activities going on. The PA asked many questions about sinus infections, snoring, grinding my teeth, talking in my sleep, etc. I answered "yes" far too many times. If I can begin to go to sleep and feel rested when I awake, I will be a happy camper. The PA said I would have to start sleeping with oxygen and time will tell about a CPAP (whatever that is?).
I have set a goal for myself. One of the baseball player wives is a marathon runner and when I saw her at the wedding (see former posts), she encouraged me to enter a marathon. Now reason would tell you that this almost 63 year old non-runner thought she was crazy. She went on to tell me that many people walk marathons and that some walk 1/2 marathons. She continued by telling me that people cheer you on and everyone gets excited when you cross the finish line. Needless to say, I bit. I have always thought it would be fun to complete a 5K but as some of you know me, I never settle for less than the best, so I am opting for the 1/2 marathon. I have asked my daughter, Allison, to walk with me. She has been encouraging me to walk alot. What better way for us to go than together. She is pregnant, by the way, and just perhaps, the three of us could finish the walk together. We are planning for April. She will be seven months along and I think I could keep up with her then. I walked three miles today in 55:45. The training begins.

Taking Care of #1

So for over two months I have been fighting feelings. Those who know me would tell you that I am a sincere person who is passionate about taking care of people and caring about others. I have even been known to speak out and get myself in trouble by making certain things are fair and trying to have the world function with truth and not politics, and people being honest and not playing games.
I have been worrying about my staff and feeling very disconnected from them because we are going twice the speed of light and never see each other, let alone collect any synergy from each other. I worry about the budget, cuts and contracts, and making certain staff has adequate time to prepare and do the job they are capable of doing for our schools.
Meantime, I haven't taken time to exercise! Now those of you who started this blog with me know that I have been a proponent of exercise since before the band. I know it is the only way that I can maintain good health, alleviate stress, and even hope to lose those extra pounds of fat. I was so committed to taking care of myself and making certain I exercised regularly. Well, that has gone out the window. It was pointed out to me today that has been my choice. I have chosen to allow other things to take the time away from taking time to exercise each day. Guess what? That is the truth!
With the risk of being philosophical, I have spent my entire life putting others before me. I admitted today that my personal opinion of myself has always been based on what others think. I have been a people pleaser for 62 years. I tried to be a perfect daughter and never disappoint my parents. I don't believe I ever measured up to my first husband's expectations (weight, intelligence, or motherhood). I attained my Doctorate because I believed it might give me a "leg up" on the world of a male dominated profession (school administration). I am writing this not to collect sympathy or kind words, but because I need to admit this to myself. I think if the truth was spoken, I have had the goal of losing weight because our society values skinny people more than obese. Yet, I have written that I am trying to change my weight so that I will be more healthy.
All in all, I am not healthy in the head. I KNOW I need to put myself first and take care of myself if I hope to be able to do unto others. I know that, but I don't walk the talk. So tonight I went to the Rec and walked for 30 minutes. I walked 1.6 miles. I plan to go to bed as soon as I finish writing this post. I have been eating better than ever before in my life but I have started to add those sweet morsels too often. I need to adhere to what I know is necessary and lay off thinking about what tastes good.
I sleep but I don't think I am resting. I need to learn to say "no" when the reality is that I can't add another thing to my schedule. I encourage my staff to do that so I guess I better start modeling what I want for them. As of today, I am really going to try to start a new chapter of taking care of me. Stay tuned for what's next.

Wonderful Week

Vince and I just returned home from a wonderful week away. It was a much needed rest for me and it seems like we don't get to spend as much together as I would like. We saw beautiful fall colors on the gorgeous mountains in West Virginia and Virginia. We spent some great time in the warm sunshine in Williamsburg. This is a place that both of us love but we had never been there together. We walked the streets together and at times, I just sat in the sun and watched the people. The weather was beautiful. I especially loved our drive to the Atlantic and was absolutely awestruck by the tunnels and bridges linking us to the Delmarva Peninsula. Those of you who know me know how much I love the water.

I will add some pictures for you.

Once Upon a Time. . .

It has been a very busy fall with school starting and our contracts with schools demanding hours of planning, driving to schools, and working with a lot of educators. I like the work but some things have suffered. Number one has been my exercise program! I have to start putting my health first and getting the exercise to help with the stress. There, I said it, now I need to put my tush in motion.
This past weekend I drove to Rapid City to attend the wedding of a very special young man. Eleven years ago I met Luke as an incoming Freshman at DWU. He wanted to be a teacher and came to DWU because he was recruited by the baseball coach. This was the beginning of a wonderful time in my life! I watched baseball games in the fall when it was starting to get cold, rained, and even snowed. I watched baseball games in the spring when it was still cold, snowed and rained, and the wind was blowing. I was privileged to travel with the team to the Metrodome and sit in the Twins dugout with the team. I traveled to Florida with these fine young men. I have watched them laugh with each other, learned about their superstitions, watched them win and watched them lose (both games and special friends), and shared tears with them more than once.
So, this weekend was special because some of these young men were able to come together to celebrate. Their coach, Adam, is the short guy in the back row. He is the reason these guys know each other. He is the one who recruited these fine young men. So once upon a time there was a team and today these young men are dear friends and they still make me laugh and cry and I am blessed to know each of them.

Tag - You're It

The rules:
1. Respond and re-work: Answer these questions on your blog. Replace one question you dislike with one of your own invention, and add another question of your own.
2. Tag some friends to play along!


1. What's your favorite article of clothing? I love a big heavy thick sweatshirt with a hood at a baseball game.
2. Who was the last person you hugged? My husband this morning before I went to work.
3. What's your favorite dinner? Steak and a sweet potato
4. What's the last thing you bought? A birthday card for Zachary
5. How's your head feeling right now? Surprisingly - pretty good!
6. What's your favorite weather? Calm and cold
7. What is your least favorite season? spring
8. What's in your purse? What's not in my purse. :) Credit cards, pens, lipstick, hand sanitizer
Not billfold, hairspray, towel
9. Say something to the person who tagged you.
10. What is your favorite dessert? ice cream with chocolate and peanuts
11. What did you want to become as a child? radio commentator
12. What do you want to be now? a change agent
13. What is your favorite song? What a Wonderful World
14. What is your favorite country/state? Michigan
15. If you could go anywhere in the world in the next hour, where would you go? Hawaii
16. What are my most challenging goals right now? Time for exercise
17. What is your five-year plan? retire and become more crafty
18. What is your favorite sport to watch? baseball
19. What show would you be a cast member of? Grey's Anatomy
20. What is your most prized possession? my family
21. Name a favorite childhood memory. summers on the farm
22. What is your favorite book of the Bible? Phillipians
23. What is your favorite quote? Be the change you want to see in the world.
24. What is your favorite book? Elm Creek series

I tag Nola, Caroline, and Helen.

Is This Me?

Vince has been listening to me fret and sputter about the amount of work I have and how hopeless I feel sometimes trying to be a "change agent". I had a nasty attitude and couldn't seem to chase away the anxiety I was feeling. This week seemed woefully tiring. Although I feel like I am chasing my tail, I think this picture portrays the sincere feeling I have. I am overwhelmed! I really believe if I could, I would climb a limb in a sunny spot and let the world spin by. I would not even watch. I would lazily daydream and let someone else get it ALL done. Meantime, there are less than 100 days until Christmas.